Saturday, June 24, 2017 This Week's Paper

Stupid Criminal of the week

It is a story as old as time. Parents have likely been telling their children to turn down their music since cave dwellers beat sticks and stones together.

This ageless tale played out along the 6400 block of Sixth Avenue on Oct. 11 when a mother advised her son to turn down the volume of his iPod. As 15-year-old boys are oft to do, he refused. And refused again. Oh, and again.

He was given fair warning. The take-no-crap mother decided to take the opportunity to make the situation a “teaching moment.” She pulled the car over, went to her son’s side of the car and took the iPod from his hands. He didn’t learn the lesson that she was not in the mood for his tantrums. He scratched and pushed her several times. She didn’t back down. She called the police and had him arrested for fourth-degree assault. He was handcuffed and taken to Remann Hall.

A long-time hooker in the hood might want to visit a law library to brush up on the legal standing of her particular trade. The 47-year-old woman found herself under arrest, again, after she negotiated to have oral relations with a passerby for $22 while parked in a car along the 8000 block of Pacific Avenue. The discount rate was apparently some sort of “early bird” special since it was only 3:30 p.m. The police officer spotted the love seekers and questioned them about their romance. The man admitted to paying the fine lady of the night but said he had not yet received her nocturnal services. The woman argued with the police officer that since she had not provided the services upon payment, no crime was committed and therefore she should be released post haste. The officer gave her steel bracelets and took her to jail instead.

She might call Sal. (Breaking Bad fan, you are welcome.)

Compiled by Steve Dunkelberger