Saturday, July 22, 2017 This Week's Paper

Stupid Criminal of the Week

A man arrested at the N Proctor St. Safeway on Feb. 2 learned that intimidation will only get you so far. After the subject fled the store with several stolen bottles of alcohol, a concerned customer continued to follow him down the street in his vehicle. When the subject noticed, he continually yelled at the customer and motioned to his waist, indicating he was armed. When the subject began to approach the vehicle, the customer told him to stop, or he would have to “take him down.” When the subject did not stop, the customer calmly exited his vehicle and promptly pinned the thief to the ground. When the police arrived, the customer had the man pinned with one hand, while the other held his cell phone. The subject was then transferred to Pierce County Jail, for strong arm robbery.

Another criminal arrested on Feb. 1 at S. 23rd St. was apparently looking to avoid that same embarrassment by arming up. Officers were called when the man approached a stranger’s house and began pounding on the front door with a rusty pipe, asking for drugs. When approached the man answered all questions with “pimpin ain’t easy” and had trouble standing up straight. Upon closer inspection, the rusty pipe turned out to be a samurai sword in a wooden sheath, the man was also concealing a large meat cleaver in one of his pockets. The wannabe-samurai was quickly taken to Fife Jail for possession of a dangerous weapon.

Compiled by Derek Shuck