The Daily Mash-Up

Monday, June 26, 2017 This Week's Paper
Biebergate, day three: We’ll get to the bottom of this

It appears the Mac Book that was allegedly stolen from pop star Justin Bieber during Tuesday’s tour stop at the Tacoma Dome has changed hands yet again.

Local comedian Aaron Flett, a.k.a. Riggs, says he purchased the computer - which still brandishes stickers reading “Bieb’s laptop: Hands off!!!” - through Craig’s List. Riggs said he met up with “a couple of bearded guys with gauge earrings” who were eager to get rid of the device after round-the-clock harassment about its contents.

“They said 12-year-old girls were calling their bar all day, squealing and then hanging up,” Riggs said. “And I guess TMZ showed up and started harassing customers. So they gave me a sweet deal just to get rid of it.”
Having read about the fallout from Bieber’s laptop theft prank, Riggs searched the hard drive looking for evidence to substantiate his suspicions: that the “hoax” story was cover to keep anyone finding the computer from realizing they’d found anything they could sell to the tabloids.

Riggs alluded to a number of strange items he’d found including to a slideshow of “Instagrammed” photos depicting someone with an uncanny resemblance to the teen idol “Tebowing” in front of various landmarks, including the Space Needle, the Museum of Glass and Bob’s Java Jive, locally.

“It’s a weird angle on that last one,” Riggs said. “But that sure as hell looks like the guy. And then there’s this thing labeled ‘beard photos’ that caught my eye.’”

He opened the folder and double-clicked its contents, a single head shot of pop star Selena Gomez. “I have no idea what that means,” Riggs said. “But I guess I got a cool laptop to use over at Grit City Comedy.”

(Editor's note: While the people depicted in these "Biebergate" stories are quite real - blah, blah, blah - you know the rest. But in real "news," Tacoma not be the only place where a false police report may have been filed about the pop star. )